Kyrea’ McCluney: Healing My Way – Life After Escaping a Narcissist

“It has been a long journey to reach this stage, and I’ve been told that most victims don’t make it to survivorship. That was the first thing I was told when I went to Victim Assistance. My domestic violence (DV) case is so layered because every aspect of my life was attacked. I’m finally experiencing my freedom, yet my child’s father is enraged because I escaped. I finally did it! Girl, you made it out alive! -Kyrea’ McCluney

That was the thought of this young woman after finally separating from a toxic and abusive relationship. Now it was her time to fully grieve the loss of her beloved grandfather and cherish the last days with her grandmother—only to discover that this was the beginning of a new journey of harassment and emotional abuse. Even after obtaining a restraining order, nothing would stop him from trying to damage her character—from releasing revenge porn to other blackmail videos. Despite all of this, she knew she had to figure out a way to co-parent their son.

Less than an hour after being granted a restraining order, he sought revenge by filing assault with a deadly weapon and communicating a threat charge against her. This was staggering and beyond belief. But more than that was the fear and emotional distress of wondering if people would believe his accusations. He was smart enough to build a compilation of carefully edited videos to use against her. The entire time, he would bait her into an argument, then assault her, and then record her as she screamed and raged in response to his attack. However, the videos only captured her moments of rage, making it appear as though she was the aggressor. Those videos became the leverage he used to control her. Imagine living in that fear—What am I going to do? What will people think of me? A cycle of perpetual anguish, anger, guilt, and fear, yet always focused on survival.

The song “Through It All, I’ve Learned to Trust in God” became her mantra. Surely, through the constant fighting, arguing, name-calling, social media taunting, and disparaging acts of disgust, she maintained her business and cared for her son. Coming to the realization that this man truly never cared—although painful—became her strength.

There were times when she not only had to fight him but also his family. Threats of losing her job became more and more imminent. Every communication was reported to the police, but he didn’t stop there. He emailed a copy of her charges to her job, a place where she had worked for 12 years. That was the ultimate betrayal—the most damaging attack—he went after her livelihood. He did not even consider the impact this would have on their child.

But thanks be to God, who came to her just as He did to Ruth in Ruth 3:11:

“Now don’t be afraid, my daughter. I will do for you whatever you say, for all the people in my town know that you are a woman of noble character.”

Our God is amazing, and her case was dismissed due to insufficient evidence. As only God can orchestrate, their court case for the other pending charges is scheduled for March 11—3/11. Do you see it? Ruth 3:11.

“Thanks be to God, who always causes us to triumph.” (2 Corinthians 2:14)

This certainly is a sign of hope. This survivor says, “My strength rests in Ruth 3:11 and Philippians 4:13, because God definitely has me in His hands.”

It is her desire to one day be an advocate for victims of violence—to be able to publicly share her story and explain what she believes kept her strong throughout this arduous process. She realizes that, while it’s hard and scary, believing in yourself is an unstoppable force.

Kyrea’ is so thankful for her parents, family, friends, and her pastor. Having a solid support system is the strength that keeps you grounded.

A huge thank you to Safe Alliance—a victim assistance organization that truly provides a sense of hope for those impacted by domestic violence and sexual assault. They assisted the client in this case with the renewal of her restraining order and provided counsel for her court cases.

The greatest lesson she learned through this agency is that the legal system isn’t built for victims. However, she also learned this: You must stay consistent and keep the faith!